the Condition

There seems to be a growing trend in the need for us to divulge every detail of our lives to every contact we make. Social media and networking can be held accountable for such display of gross misconduct. Display pictures change every so often accompanied by personal messages, closely related in meaning and/or content. It is a per-second account of lives, of everyday mundane existence; documented in fragments of emoticons, images and text. In this state of self-revelation, too much can be said, too much indeed is said (and shown) for how is it of any concern to anyone what brand of toothpaste you use. Why do we have to see your food before you eat it? If you are in the toilet –Keep it to yourself! Haba something’s are sacred, that’s the only YOU time you have, why share this tranquil (or tormentous) moment with a smart phone and decades of contacts. I would like to propose to every sane Nigerian with a smart phone to embrace moments without which, to see the beauty of life without the burden of sharing, to reach depths of serenity unhindered by that high pitched singular sound that represents a ping! If you feel the need to share your thoughts with absolute strangers then you my friend have a condition, feel not dismayed, for you are many.

There are list of interesting display messages, cataloging the everyday whereabouts, misdeeds and triumphs of the average Nigerian. There are other documentation on immediate reactions of everyone to everything, these days we ALL have a twitter handle, but not all of us have a handle on our tongues. There was a time when decorum and finesse were present in the House of Representatives, a time when only the uncouth spoke without proper consultation between thought and reason, apparently this was a time when I was still diagnosed as being in a healthy mental state. For government officials and cohorts have used twitter as their radio frequency, now we know your thoughts, we can predict you.

So we give our lives for the free, we give our thoughts for nothing and we share our locations with glee, but somewhere in our (hypocritical) righteous state, we say NO to big brother. When we are truly watching each other, watching each other – without the prize money too, we concern ourselves with the misdeeds of the next man, maybe in a bid to gratify our own void. This is a condition spreading in these parts, self-gratification at the expense of others, call it throwing down the ladder, or survival of the fittest, it is simply the self-centered nature of we as a people towards ourselves. Notice how everyone wants to be the first at disseminating gossip? Regardless of its TRUE context, the DP that suddenly changes when it is clear that the information previously broadcasted was wrong or the senselessness of peddling panic. This is a condition, medical or not, it has eaten into the fabric of us. As fun loving people we generate laughter from varying sources, we reach to find humor at the detriment of others, we are harsh and ruthless, regardless of the true reason behind the error. Shame on Nigerians that mock Autism, shame on you if you ridicule a retard –  they need our support, love and understanding, so the next time the first lady throws a bomb (verbal grammatical error) do not BC, twit or fwd. but take a moment and pray that the ‘condition’ is healed.

In other news; the Vatican change leadership in a conclave that we are supposed to experience only once or twice in a lifetime, it’s like witnessing a coronation – YOGO (You only get one) what were you thinking…the yoghurt? If you follow for the Mr Bean depiction of the new Pope on your blackberry display picture then well…you have a condition, if you been follow for displaying a lifeless Goldie on your blackberry device, then verily-verily I say unto you – you have the same condition! And if per chance you did the two and topped with a comment like ‘my oga at the top’ then my friend you are a true Nigerian – First to hear and eager to share and lacking facts. The opportunist have started making ‘T-shirts’ it seemed like a movement at first, some #occupy vibe, but as the dust settled it was clear that mockery was the motivation. In-case you don’t know what I am on about, abeg follow the link, the perpetrator has been suspended and the directive was from internal affairs; you see, the condition has to be quickly addressed for fear of external spread. Let us face it, everyone has an ‘Oga at the top’ and we suppose know say website dey end with dot com (or dot net, org, ng and whole host of others). Shame on you all those presenters, he that has never thrown a bomb (verbal grammatical error) before, should cast the first….well you get my drift. The statistics say there are 61.3% of literate adult Nigerians, we had our first graduate president in 2007 and climbed higher with a PhD holder in 2011, yet the city is still blind and the kings have two eyes.

Clearly too, for only the King has the power to pardon; so if you don’t like it go and add more receptors to your anti-missile project, we can pardon who we want (unlike you zero dark people), regardless of if they are still wanted in your country – my Oga at the top say so!


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